The world's silliest iPhone apps

(by LOUISA HEARN, 22 July 10, source: smh.com.au)

When Apple wrote “there's no limit to what your iPhone can do” on its website, did it ever imagine that its flagship smartphone would be put to use as a voodoo doll, a cure for warts, or a means of stalking celebrities?
With over 200,000 apps in its iTunes marketplace, it enjoys a huge market lead over competitors. However its closest competitor, Google, is speedily making up ground with 65,000 apps to feed its growing army of Android smartphones.
But is quantity really an important factor in the apps race or does it just lead to a proliferation of frivolous applications for people with either too much time or money?

You be the judge with our compilation of some of the silliest iPhone apps on the market.

Don't dial

This little app is designed to stop you from making those pesky calls to people you probably wouldn't have dialled had you been sober.
The Don't Dial app tests your sobriety with a number of tasks and will lock down certain contacts on your phone should you fail. You can also lock up contacts for a predetermined period for extra personal security. Friends armed with a pin access code will have the say over if and when you can regain access to certain numbers.
OK! Celebspotter

If you are growing sick of random celebrity stalking then here is an app from the king of gossip, OK!, that will allow you to do it in a far more purposeful fashion.
The location-based service gives details of the latest hangouts for stars so you can see which celebrities might be lurking in your vicinity or any 'hotspots' they might have frequented in the past.
Wart Healer

It isn't available in the iTunes market anymore, but for a few days in the month of April, iPhone-wielding wart sufferers were treated to a "distance healing" application that offered to rid them of their warts one by one for a unit fee of $US12.99.
Sending a photograph of your wart to a "professional mental healer" would apparently work a spell that would doom your wart to a VERY slow death. Apple has subsequently pulled the app.
iPhone Blower

If you would like to use your iPhone to blow out candles – or disperse dried parsley on the bench - here is an app that will push a tiny puff of wind out of your phone's speakers (to very little effect if you believe the reviews on the iTunes site). I imagine that Steve Jobs invented the iPhone for all sorts of reasons, with the possible exception of this one.
iFart

From one kind of wind to another - it's been around forever but it seems that the charm of the iFart will never wear thin. This app lets you fart on command with a selection of different farting sounds from the party favourite Burrito Maximo to the more subtle Silent but Deadly.
Passion

Bringing a real sense of purpose to the iPhone's inbuilt accelerometer is this app that measures your competence in bed.
The device's microphone and timer are also put to good use with this application that will rate you out of 10 on the basis of duration, orgasm and activity.
Ask the Octopus

Who doesn't love Paul the Octopus? This app tries to emulate his remarkable World Cup performance with a psychic app that lets you choose between two different options. Just don't bet the farm on it, would be my sage advice.
Ask The Hoff

I can understand the thrill of asking the Octopus to help you make decisions, but help from the Hoff? He seems to have enough of his own life challenges to be trusted to weigh in on anyone else's. Regardless of his lack of credentials as a soothsayer, this app will dole out Hoff-style advice after you ask a question and shake your phone.
Virtual Voodoo

Not quite as disturbing as it sounds, this app lets you stick pins into any bitter foe whose face you manage to snap on your iPhone camera. Just add the face to the creepy little doll and start pricking to send a spiteful little spell.
Paranormal State EMF Meter

Have ghosts been bothering you or is it just some dodgy plumbing that makes your hairs stand on end in the long, dark night. The Paranormal State EMF Meter will (supposedly) set you straight by measuring any abnormal electromagnetic frequencies.
I think I'd rather just blame the plumbing.
Ilickit

Have you ever wondered how skilled you are at licking? Me neither. But here's an app that will rate your ability anyway. Its called iLickit – and all you have to do is lick the screen to get an expert appraisal of your licking ability. How did we ever live without this?
Drink buddy

Have you lost your prototype iPhone in a bar recently? To avoid this and other career limiting situations, the Drink Buddy app will let you set a drinking curfew for yourself with a counter that you can quickly update on the go.
Of course if drinking too much should actually be your goal, then drink buddy will also let you track the consumption of you and your friends. Boasting a large blur-proof digital display, you need never forget how much you and your pals really drank that night.
Bubble Popper ProNot everybody thinks popping bubble wrap for fun is a complete waste of time. This app is for them. For variety, bubble wrap enthusiasts can set different colours and sizes and can even enter bubble popping competitions with like-minded people who also have a vast amount of time on their hands.
GottaGo

For people with substantially less time on their hands than the bubble poppers, this app means they need never waste precious time in any social situation they find tedious or uncomfortable. After some subtle prompting, GottaGo will ring them up with a fake phone call that appears real to the rest of the world – including their unsuspecting companion. Who says honesty is the best policy?